Well, secretly (or not so secretly), I have always been wanting to do something big. But not really HUGE. Like posting some videos on YouTube like the one-and-only RYAN HIGA.
You know, I'm always jealous... not quite jealous, maybe look upon to people who have the guts to post their videos on YouTube. I've always wanting to upload videos on YouTube. But to upload videos, you have to have video-- which I don't have any.
In my opinion, to start a video, you need a good recording device (duh), and except for my lousy phone, I don't have any other devices. Pathetic, but it's the truth. A good look is a plus, which I don't have one. Maybe I'm not hideously constructed, but of course not pretty at all. Normal looking is all I can say about myself.
Second, you GOT to have self-confidence. A hell lot of them, so you can speak confidently in front of the camera without peeing yourself. Besides, you need to speak fluently in whatever language you're using, and it's a tough challenge for me. I speak very quickly, so it's hard to catch what I'm saying.
One thing I'm really lack of is confidence. Well, I may have to guts to write out what I THINK, but my guts are off when I'm just considering to VOICE them out loud for the world to listen. My stomach just clenches whenever I thought of it. But it's still a beautiful dream. Wait till I have the guts, I'll so post some videos up.
I'm sort of a coward in some kind of ways. You may say that I'm brave enough to send my novel to several publishers and take on rejections like a boss (LOL), so what a few videos can do to me? Yeah, I sort of thought about that. But one thing first, my voice sounds really really bad on recording. I'm not kidding. It's embarrassing even to listen to it after I recorded it, I just deleted them all away.
It's true that people said that recording shows all the negative sides of your voice. Or at least my did. My voice (in real life) is really low and husky, but on recording it sounds like a guy's!!! It's so embarrassing.
I've always got that urge to show the world ME. But I guess the rational parts are still overpowering the not-so parts. Whenever I got the heat that I want to record my songs or do something like Ryan Higa (make some little funny videos) does, my rational part will said to me :OH NO YOU SO DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT. What if the world don't like it? What if they think you're just a teenage girl acting stupid? Or what if NOBODY ever cares about it?
Well, you know what? The thoughts are true, but they sucks a lot.
I guess I still gotta work on my rational parts first. Maybe you guys need to wait till I got the guts to do some videos that nobody even look at to. Harsh, but true. Yeah, I know. I'm such a pessimist. But sometimes think at the bad side is better than giving yourself some really hopeless hope.
So you know what? I'd better off watching others' videos and marvel over it instead of making myself a fool in front of the world. LOL
PS: I don't know a single thing about video-making, so probably it's the main reason why I don't do videos.
No comments:
Post a Comment