Best Friends Forever

Remember when you're young, you like to scribble on pieces of papers, drawing some rainbows or a sun or even a few clouds and turn the white paper into something really shiny and pretty, and then you wrote all carefully down there XXX and YYY are BFF. Then you will hand out the paper to your very best friend and be like "oh, I so love you" and then you guys giggled around the car park while waiting for you parents to fetch you?

Yeah, that happened when you're young and somewhat, naive. I can say, things change when you grow up, and you know, actually sometimes the person who once was so chummy with you, isn't your real friend at all. And all that BFF stuffs were just stupid memories, indicating how naive you were back then.

I can't say I don't trust in friends anymore, because they're hardly a few counted as my friends. And that a few, only one is my best friend. Who is it? Easy: My MOM.

When I was little, I already how betrayal tasted like. I was nine, when the whole class boycotted me, for a stupid reason: Because I'm the monitor of the class. I won't say I got bullied, but something like that, yes. The one memory that is so clear to me is that one girl who passed a note to me and inside the note read: Even if you're a Christian, you're going to hell. I was quite surprised that someone will even pulled out my religion and wrote something that mean. I did nothing to them, but I did turn in the paper to the teacher. Well, eventually, they all hated me after that (PS: people will rather follow the girl because you know, she's pretty. And that's how life is, even if you're a primary school kid. Reality kicks in hard on your butt), and I can't say I blame them, that's it. But I did learn to not to pour all your heart and soul to people anymore, in case you got hurt again.

So, I'm quite a loner after that. I spoke to my mom only and well, I kinda like to be alone. I guess I sort of figure out that I'm really a loner. I can actually go on days without speaking to anyone and just with my journal. That's pretty awesome (you can try it if you won't go insane by this) actually, except my brother wouldn't stop bugging me for that.

So practically that BFF thingy to me back then was a huge joke, since I don't believe in it anymore. You know how minds are set when you're a kid, mine's too. Especially when I'm such a stubborn person. I can't say I believe in it now, but not entirely, except with my mom.

I don't really miss those days when I was all so naive and scribbled down "BFF" whenever I got the chance (or space) on my scrape books. Because for me, now, BFF is just a term. No words can really describe the real friendship you have, or once had.