Last Of 2014

I can't really comprehend the fact that it's almost 2015.

Where I am right now, it's only about 40 minutes away before 2014 comes to an end. And to be completly honest, I'm feeling pretty sad right now. I probably won't be able to finish this post before midnight, because I started writing this post so late, but I really hope that I'm able to finish this before the last second strikes.

2014 for me is a year full of endings and new beginnings. I'd changed a lot during this year, and I'm not going to be overly nostalgic in this post, but I feel like I've grown up. At least a little.

Two huge exams in a row made me fumble through everything in 2014 so quickly without really stop and stare, or have a moment to really appreciate the year. I feel like time has gone by without my knowing, and when I finally came to my senses, it's already the end of December.

I'd been through a lot of mood swings and hardships. Accomplished a lot of things, and also made a lot of mistakes I can never undo.

I was terrible to a really close friend, but I'm glad that in the end she still accepts me and forgives me and loves me in a way I really don't deserve. I'm really glad that she stands by me. I think both of us grew up a lot, and accepted the fact that we'd both changed. But still... I'm glad we cleared things up and still able to be friends.

Also, this year, my dad finally got a stable job after being jobless for two years. The pay isn't high, but that's better than nothing. I mean, beggars can't be choosers, right?

I also bid goodbye to a lot of things in my life, and I'm going to head on to a new journey. 

I bid goodbye to my secondary school (or high school, if you prefer) life (I still can't believe that five years just blew me by and gone like that), my piano lessons and the old, naive me I reflected through my old journals. *CRINGE*

Surprisingly, I also did stuffs that made myself proud this year. 

I won a prize in the National Chinese Creative Writing Competition, which was so unexpected because I thought there's no way in hell I'd get into it. But I did, amazingly, and my friends and family are so proud of me. It's also a miracle, and it totally gained my confidence back in writing. Well, a little.

Also, I finally pulled out the guts to do YouTube videos, which was a huge step for a coward like me. And there're actually people watching and like my song and my singing, which is amazing. There're people who left kind comments and talked to me about writing songs and all. It's unbelievable.

I'm not terribly excited to meet 2015 as I'm going to leave home and go fight dragons (ie college life) on my own, without my mom by my side. Also, I'm going to turn 18 next year in April, which also notes that I'm not that little kid anymore. I'm going to be an adult and be responsible for myself.

Despite that, I really hope that I can be a better person next year, and continue to live my dreams and be what I really wanted to be: a successful person in life.

I just wanna live up to my expectations. I don't wanna be a billionaire, or be a person with an IQ of 300000; I just wanna be me. The me that enjoy in doing whatever she likes to do, happy in everything in life, or make a joke out of everything so that she can move on better.

I'm not ready for 2015, but I'm sure it's going to be another exciting thus epic year.

I just hope that I can survive through it without a major cardiac arrest. Hahaha.

So, I guess this is the final goodbye of the year. 

2014, you suck with last year of secondary school and terrible examinations, but I'll miss you so, so much. I don't regret anything I'd done this year that made me the person I'm today.

Goodbye.