Christmas and Thoughts

To state the downright obvious: It's almost Christmas time. My house, as usual, is devoid of those cute Christmas decorations aka fairy lights and socks and rags and old fashioned sweaters. We have a tiny little Christmas tree though, and of course, the paper Christmas tree up there. Oh, and an old Christmas ring hangs in front of the master bedroom. But that's all.

Not that our family don't take Christmas seriously, but my mom doesn't see any point of wasting a bunch of money for decorations. I guess I'm with her, but on the other hand, I'm a little obsessed with fairy lights. Not that I own any of those, but I literally melt on the inside whenever I saw tons and tons of fairy lights in shops or streets or malls.

For me (and for my brother, I learned that today), Christmas feels like the last day of December. It's like a thought since I was a little girl, so I guess it's hard to change this kind of nostalgic feeling that 2014 is almost over soon.

Before my horrible two examinations, I wished that time could pass by faster but right now I just hope everything can slow down to a pause. Christmas is like the last huge event of this year and after that, BAM, it's 2015. And let me translate that to you: college.

Yes, I'll be hopping off to college for less than a month. Previously when I was so caught up with my examinations, I hardly have the time to think about how soon I'm leaving this town behind for college until I finished all examinations and was left with leisure, that fact hit me real hard in the guts.

So Christmas is like my last big thing before I leave and go live in a big city where I don't think I'm sophisticated enough to fit in, let alone survive. Thankfully, I'm not the only outcast who's going for January intake; I have a couple of friends going with me and one close friend (who constantly annoys the hell out of me lol).

But I guess it won't be the same anymore, not living at home. This sounds a little sentimental but why on earth I decided to go on college so early when everyone is having fun or work and miss out my brother's growth spurt? He could be even taller and (hopefully not) a stranger to me when I got back only once in a while. And my mom, I'm like one of her very little friends she can talk to. What will happen when I'm gone?

I'm sure we'll talk to each other on phones and video calls and all that. Just that, it feels terrifying to be living alone so soon. It feels like it will only happen in far future to me when in reality it's only a few weeks left. I kinda resent myself for rushing to college so soon, and go on to an intake where all the brainiacs are going. I'm so stressed out till I bury myself in books and songs and you know, internet. 

I guess I'll have to enjoy this Christmas and have lots of fun with my friends and keep close with my family before doomsday (aka the day I move to the hostel). I just can't picture myself without my mom. I know, I'm such a mom's girl. So what? Sue me.

And a little out of the topic: I'm hoping to do some music soon as a Christmas present for myself, and let's see if I have the guts to put it on YouTube. Ha-ha.

To conclude this, I think it's fair to tell you guys what I really want for Christmas:

Let the time pass as slow as it can be.