Coffee doesn't Help

I know there's still a month and a few days before I have to face my midterms, but there's no way I can finish all of the subjects I need to master before the exam, because, duh, I'm too lazy last year to actually concentrate and study and so my form 4 stuffs just pile up and up so high I thought it's a mountain instead of books. So that practically means I have to study my butt off this month to actually get passable results, so that I can actually fight for scholarships and all that by using my midterms (not to mention, trial) results to apply and all. Hello, I'm not some kind of rich girl that doesn't need to even have GOOD results to get their butts into college and stuff because their parents are super rich to actually matter that amount of money and all.

Well, I don't have that kind of super-rich parents nor I have the finance to pull me through all the way through college, cause you know I still have a brother at home (though he's only thirteen) and I can't finish all the money for education used because he needs to use it in the future too. And also, getting scholarships basically means I can ease some of my parents' burden, that's like one stone two birds thingy. BUT, I have to work hard first, you know, to actually dare to even think about scholarships and all.

I don't know is it me or everybody else that have a hard time to concentrate while studying. EVERYTHING can occupies my attention while I'm studying, even minute things that doesn't even bother me when I'm not studying. It's like, hell. I can tell myself like, okay, this is serious and I have to finish this chapter NO MATTER WHAT, then all of a sudden, that urge to write songs appeared and I... sometimes give in. NOT ALL THE TIME, though. And that time, when I'm trying so hard to understand the stupid fish respiratory system (what's with the gills and operculums and buccal cavity and all), a reeking, blood-lust mosquito kept bothering me by constantly flapping its delicate wings flying round and round front of my eyes. Can't it see I'm busy studying????????? Well, I guess killing it doesn't help it understands what I'm saying. Huh.

So because of my lack of focus during studying (sure as hell I don't have that problem when I'm typing a story or writing my blog or writing in my journal of write songs, hell), I thought maybe I should try something to keep me wide awake after watching TV (guilty, if you can't tell) and so I figured maybe coffee is the ultimate solution for all these. Because the last time I drank that stupid cup of coffee, I CAN'T SLEEP ALL NIGHT LONG. Heaven knows how many sheep did I count that night, or how many songs I got through. Just so you know, being sleepless and listening to One Republic isn't the best solution, haha.

And yeah, I drank that coffee last night, figured that I won't fall asleep during studying or convinced myself to sleep because I can't even keep my eyes open to 1mm. It felt so good, and I felt that power in my veins and my heartbeats strong and THERE, and I thought HOLY CRAP IT WORKS YYYAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!! Until, you know, I pick up my History book and well yeah, the effects disappeared just right that second (I managed to got through Biology because, duh, it's more interesting) and my eyelids droop and I started to yawn about four times in a minute and I was thinking, no, I must get through this damn chapter because, hello, I'm running out of time.

I went downstairs and drank another cup of coffee, and sadly, I could only got through one chapter before I fell into a deep sleep. I mean, it's not even MIDNIGHT yet. It's like eleven twenty or something!! Think of the time I'd wasted!! (though I'm wasting my time right now by typing out this post and that I haven't even done my chores and I haven't even practice my piano and I'm so dead because I promised my brother we'll watch Criminal Minds after I finished this post and my dad wants to bring us out for lunch and that basically means I have no time after all, to study)

For your information, I'm drinking another cup of coffee (plus milo powder in it) to get through. But it doesn't help when coffee doesn't help, at all (rhyme?).

PS: Remember the last post I talked about choosing one of the two stories I wrote to enter the freaking competition? Well, yeah, most of the people chose the serial killer piece while my MOM and DAD and my BEST FRIEND chose the other one about twins. I'm torn, AGAIN.