Back Story Of "Bully"

Hello people! 

As you guys can see, I'm finally doing another original song since April. I've been dying to do an original song for quite a long time, and I've been wanting to put out this song for more people to hear since I first wrote it, just because... well, this song carries a huge meaning for me. I'm going to paste the lyrics here for you to read before I continue on. 

LYRICS:

Lost the grace

She lost her grace

Saw those face

She saw those face

It's the same

It's all the same

It's their game

And it's all in vain

*She's just a rat they played

Wasn't it fun oh

She got sick of their game

And begged for mercy

But they just kept on torturing on

#And she screamed

Come on you cowards

Who hid behind this fake fame of yours

Tearing my everything down

You're just building me stronger

Now listen close

You better listen close

When I claim this world mine

You'll be nothing and nothing

But a bully

Terrified

She's terrified

Tried to fight

She tried to fight

Losing sight

She's losing sight

Horrified 

And she's horrified

*

#

Fine burn her with your words

Cut her with your laugh 

Detached of emotions

Chest emptied of heart

# 

As you guys can see, the lyrics are quite... heavy. I initially wanted to do a happier song this time, because all three of the original songs I put up was either about breaking up or being cynical. But after much considerations, I feel like this song is so much more relatable to other people out there. I couldn't say that I write this song based on what I been through in the past, but I definitely got my idea from my past. 

It's obvious that I was bullied before, when I was during primary school. I don't think other people will consider this kind of bullying as the "real bullying", because what I been through was mostly verbal abuse and people threatening me, like telling me wicked stuffs like even though I'm a Christian, I'll still go to hell. Imagine talking that to am eight-year-old, it hurts and it hurts a lot. 

Okay. This post isn't about what I been through before, but my idea of writing it. Let's move on.

Bullying isn't quite a "thing" in Malaysia. Like if people are being mean to you, that's not because they're bullying you, but that it's "life" and you shall get on with it and get over it. Bullies often get by because some of them are that kind of "queen bees" with tons of followers after them, or that they claimed that they mean "no harm" and just "play around" with us. Adults will just think, oh, it's just kids playing around together, but it's not. 

It was quite a noisy morning in class when I wrote this song (yes, most of my songs were produced during class time.... sorry teacher!). I just suddenly thought of the first line "lost the grace" and the music came straight into my mind with the line. Then some sort of image of a girl curling into a ball at the corner with tears streak down her face popped into my mind, and that's when I knew what this song is going to be about. The thing is, this song came to me out of nowhere. If I'm being dramatic, I'd say that this song chose me to write it out and present it, because I was a victim of bullying before, and it only feels right to share some emotions or feelings during the process. 

For the chorus, where the girl said the bullies are building her stronger, that was what I thought before when my classmates boycotted me before. That was kinda the thought that pull me through few years before I went exploding and had depression and had to stay in the hospital for two weeks. Yikes. 

The thing is, I still don't think people really get the impact of bullying. I think for my old classmates back then, they were still naive and young, and they didn't think that their actions were actually consider as bullying. Like saying bad things in my face, taking my friends away from me... I think for them, they just kind of follow what the crowd do. I know they didn't mean it, or didn't intentionally wanted to cause me harm: it was fun to them. Kind of like a game, that everybody plays. I don't blame them, not anymore, because they did treat me really well after I went into the hospital for two weeks, and it's finally an issue that's serious enough for the adults to take notice. 

What I really hope is that, maybe this song can be a little reminder to all the adults out there, or all the people who thought they're not bullies but are mean to people that are weaker than them, that bullying isn't nice. It's the worst feeling imaginable, feeling that you're worthless and unwanted. It's... crap. It's really crap. I hope people can really address these type of issues, and no more students, kids, teens or even adults will ever go through this. I know I had it "easy"compare to other serious cases of bullying, but that doesn't make it any "easier"for me to recover from it. 

So I hope you guys can go listen to this song, and think about it, and reflect what you did in life. I can't say I'm perfect, that I'm never mean to anyone. But when I realized I did the wrong thing, I reflect back how bad it hurts, and I apologize to that person I was being mean to. I hope everyone can do the same thing: to avoid mistakes and to make up for the mistakes they make. 

I guess this is it for today, I really hope you guys like this song.

Till next time people!

xx