home about youtube contacts faq

Search This Blog

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Last Of 2014


I can't really comprehend the fact that it's almost 2015.

Where I am right now, it's only about 40 minutes away before 2014 comes to an end. And to be completly honest, I'm feeling pretty sad right now. I probably won't be able to finish this post before midnight, because I started writing this post so late, but I really hope that I'm able to finish this before the last second strikes.

2014 for me is a year full of endings and new beginnings. I'd changed a lot during this year, and I'm not going to be overly nostalgic in this post, but I feel like I've grown up. At least a little.

Two huge exams in a row made me fumble through everything in 2014 so quickly without really stop and stare, or have a moment to really appreciate the year. I feel like time has gone by without my knowing, and when I finally came to my senses, it's already the end of December.

I'd been through a lot of mood swings and hardships. Accomplished a lot of things, and also made a lot of mistakes I can never undo.

I was terrible to a really close friend, but I'm glad that in the end she still accepts me and forgives me and loves me in a way I really don't deserve. I'm really glad that she stands by me. I think both of us grew up a lot, and accepted the fact that we'd both changed. But still... I'm glad we cleared things up and still able to be friends.

Also, this year, my dad finally got a stable job after being jobless for two years. The pay isn't high, but that's better than nothing. I mean, beggars can't be choosers, right?

I also bid goodbye to a lot of things in my life, and I'm going to head on to a new journey. 

I bid goodbye to my secondary school (or high school, if you prefer) life (I still can't believe that five years just blew me by and gone like that), my piano lessons and the old, naive me I reflected through my old journals. *CRINGE*

Surprisingly, I also did stuffs that made myself proud this year. 

I won a prize in the National Chinese Creative Writing Competition, which was so unexpected because I thought there's no way in hell I'd get into it. But I did, amazingly, and my friends and family are so proud of me. It's also a miracle, and it totally gained my confidence back in writing. Well, a little.

Also, I finally pulled out the guts to do YouTube videos, which was a huge step for a coward like me. And there're actually people watching and like my song and my singing, which is amazing. There're people who left kind comments and talked to me about writing songs and all. It's unbelievable.

I'm not terribly excited to meet 2015 as I'm going to leave home and go fight dragons (ie college life) on my own, without my mom by my side. Also, I'm going to turn 18 next year in April, which also notes that I'm not that little kid anymore. I'm going to be an adult and be responsible for myself.

Despite that, I really hope that I can be a better person next year, and continue to live my dreams and be what I really wanted to be: a successful person in life.

I just wanna live up to my expectations. I don't wanna be a billionaire, or be a person with an IQ of 300000; I just wanna be me. The me that enjoy in doing whatever she likes to do, happy in everything in life, or make a joke out of everything so that she can move on better.

I'm not ready for 2015, but I'm sure it's going to be another exciting thus epic year.

I just hope that I can survive through it without a major cardiac arrest. Hahaha.

So, I guess this is the final goodbye of the year. 

2014, you suck with last year of secondary school and terrible examinations, but I'll miss you so, so much. I don't regret anything I'd done this year that made me the person I'm today.

Goodbye.

Monday, 29 December 2014

Blank Space Cover by ME







Got up today with sore throat and sheer determination to do another video before 2014 ends.

Here's how things turn out. 

xx

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Christmas Present to ME.

If you guys remember, I once kept blabbering on about wanting to do a YouTube video on my original song. And yes, I did it. 

It's nerve-wrecking actually, but I told myself to pull myself together and said if I didn't do it, I won't do this, for, like, ever in my entire life. So I did. And as I predicted, I did have a lot of second thoughts and regretted just after I posted the video online.

It isn't my best, I must admit. But the only way to share my song is me singing it and I'm not the best singer ever. So it kinda ruin my song a little but the song is my child and you can never, ever hate your own babies. 

I did this by convincing myself that this is a Christmas present for myself and well, the fact that no one (apart from my friends and family) will watch it also eases some of my nervousness. 

I sincerely hope I won't regret this later in life though. 

*CRINGE*

Anyway, just in case you happened to flip through my blog or something, here's a link for you to watch my video.


I hope you guys enjoy it. 

xx

(ps: Merry Christmas!!)

Monday, 22 December 2014

2014 Favorites (Book Edition)



I figure I can do something I never done before in this blog, so I think I can do a 2014 Favorites: Book Edition since I'm such a bookworm (NERD) and share with you guys a couple of books I'm loving this year. 

Compare to previous years, I read lesser books in 2014 because I didn't really have the time to sit down and chill out on the couch with my books. I can only afford to spend ten to thirty minutes a day on my novels this year but that's better than no time at all for books, right?

Books to me are air and water and food. It's an essential in my life, a fixture I can't alter in any way. That's why I need to read at least a few pages of them a day. That's like an apple a day, keeps the doctor away; but this is a book a day, keeps the loneliness away. 

Without further ado, here is my list of books I love in 2014:



The Hunger Games Trilogy


My friends read this series for like, ages ago. I know, I'm really late on this train, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy this series lesser than the next person--I just didn't have any time for reading a trilogy before so I let it stayed in my bookshelf for almost half a year. In fact, it got me so engaged in the story line till my mom had to literally force me to move around because I was slumping on the couch reading these awesome books. 

I guess I don't have to explain any of the plot or anything since most of the people around the globe has already read this series, or at least watch the movie version of these. I didn't watch the movie version though, just because I hate to watch a movie based on books before I read the books. I don't know, just that sometimes the films sort of ruin the plot of the books, but you can't blame them because they have to squeeze the whole book into a 2 hour film. 

But I sincerely doubt that I'll ever pick up these three books ever again in my entire life. Not that I hate it or anything, but that the story line is so oddly depressing that it weaved its way into my nightmares, and trust me when I say throughout the two days I read this series (yes, I finished these three books in two days) I was so terrified that I was going to be in the story with Katniss. And also, I was devastated like the others when Finnick died. 

That's how engaged I was in the story. Eep!



Confession of a Jane Austen Addict Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict


I only just read these books a few days ago, and I'm seriously in love with them! 

I might as well admit I bought these two books because of their lovely covers, but of course I read the back synopsis before I made the decision to purchase. I bought these two books at a fairly cheap price: each one is only RM8! 

Both books are very interesting, with humor and tons of surprise in them. The story is about two women from different times woke up after hitting their heads and find themselves in a stranger's body. It's downright hilarious, especially the second book because Jane Mansfield from 19th century wakes up in Courtney Stone's body in the 21st century and is thrown in a world she has never ever experience in her life.

Though I must admit that the ending of the first book is quite confusing, but the second sort of clear all that up. Truly, I'm really confused and frustrated at first, struggling to understand the ending. But I eventually decided that the author probably wrote the ending like that so we can assumed our own endings. I'm still a little confused by now, but I think I might sort that out when I read the books for a second or a third time.



The Girl In The Park


I thought this book is a ghost story until I read the synopsis. So much for an assumption! It's not (of course) a ghost story, and it's nowhere near that. I just assumed from the tittle (which sounds a little eerie) and the cover (ditto). I have never ever heard of the author, but nonetheless, it was a total bargain at RM5 with an intriguing synopsis so I bought it without a second thought.

It is worth it in the end. I enjoy the story a lot and I like how the author weaves suspicion throughout the whole novel. The story is about a girl who was found dead in a park and the mystery about her mysterious death. Rain, her ex-best friend has become determined to find out the truth about her friend's death but the truth is just so surprising. The one I least suspect is actually the killer. 

There are issues about bullying and high-school thingy in this particular book and I really like how the author actually explored these sensitive but important themes in our lives. 



How To Fall In Love


Hands down. This is the sweetest book I've read this year. The story line is engaging, romantic and heart-breaking at the same time. You'll understand me if you're a huge fan of Cecelia Ahern or you had read any of her books, and you'll know that she's one hell of a storyteller. 

This story is about a woman named Christine who only has two weeks to make an almost-jumping-off-the-bridge-man Adam falls in love with his own life. Her life isn't at its peak, his neither. That's what make the story interesting and touching as I can go through the highs and downs with their messed-up lives. And also, who can miss out the budding romance?

I just love, love, love this book.



Plain Truth


This is by far one of the best books I've ever read in my entire life (but let's not start my love for Twilight, yes, I'm a hardcore Twilight fans. The books, though, not the movies). Once I placed it in my hands, whoa, there's no letting go until I finished the whole book. Of course I sneaked a peek at the ending beforehand, but as usual, if you don't read the book from start to the end (like Picoult's other books) you won't understand the ending. Which is why I'm so obsessed with her works.

The first book of hers I'd read is My Sister's Keeper, which is so touching that I reread it dozens of time. Then I started to search out her other works and fall in love with those as well. This one in particular is about an Amish girl who was pregnant but then lost her baby by "wishing" the baby away. She has no memory of the baby but her body says it the other way. Then she has to deal with her family, her religion and the law.

It's brilliantly written, and of course, the ending caught me off guard (as usual). 

Round of applause for this book, please.



Nineteen Minutes 


Another brilliantly written book by Jodi Picoult. As you can see from the photo above, the price is so cheap (blockbuster price, that's it) till I couldn't resist buying it. Of course I bought it because Jodi Picoult's one of my favorite author, like I mentioned before.

This book explores the theme of bullying and fitting-in, you know, the usual type of thing in high school (not in my country... or at least my school, I think). It's exciting and exhilarating. I read Salem Falls before this one (also by Jodi Picoult) and the attorney, Jordan, is present in both novels. However, I like this one better compared to the other. Of course there's no connection between two books so you can read them separately.

Peter, who is a teenager who was bullied for no reason since he was a kid and who lived under his brother's shadow until his brother died, got to school one day and shoot ten people dead in school and wounded others. The most important witness (who is also a judge's daughter) lost her memory on the shooting. 

The story is mind blowingly good. The ending once again surprised me--shocked me, even--and I was reluctant to put the book down when it's finished. 

That is how good the book really is.


Okay. That is all. I know this is such a long post but I enjoy this thoroughly. I guess this is the perk of being a nerd aka bookworm.

I hope this won't bore you too much if you're skipping all those to the ending. Ha-ha.

Till next time, peeps.



(and yes, if you notice, I'm using center alignment for the first time)

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Christmas and Thoughts



To state the downright obvious: It's almost Christmas time. My house, as usual, is devoid of those cute Christmas decorations aka fairy lights and socks and rags and old fashioned sweaters. We have a tiny little Christmas tree though, and of course, the paper Christmas tree up there. Oh, and an old Christmas ring hangs in front of the master bedroom. But that's all.

Not that our family don't take Christmas seriously, but my mom doesn't see any point of wasting a bunch of money for decorations. I guess I'm with her, but on the other hand, I'm a little obsessed with fairy lights. Not that I own any of those, but I literally melt on the inside whenever I saw tons and tons of fairy lights in shops or streets or malls.

For me (and for my brother, I learned that today), Christmas feels like the last day of December. It's like a thought since I was a little girl, so I guess it's hard to change this kind of nostalgic feeling that 2014 is almost over soon.

Before my horrible two examinations, I wished that time could pass by faster but right now I just hope everything can slow down to a pause. Christmas is like the last huge event of this year and after that, BAM, it's 2015. And let me translate that to you: college.

Yes, I'll be hopping off to college for less than a month. Previously when I was so caught up with my examinations, I hardly have the time to think about how soon I'm leaving this town behind for college until I finished all examinations and was left with leisure, that fact hit me real hard in the guts.

So Christmas is like my last big thing before I leave and go live in a big city where I don't think I'm sophisticated enough to fit in, let alone survive. Thankfully, I'm not the only outcast who's going for January intake; I have a couple of friends going with me and one close friend (who constantly annoys the hell out of me lol).

But I guess it won't be the same anymore, not living at home. This sounds a little sentimental but why on earth I decided to go on college so early when everyone is having fun or work and miss out my brother's growth spurt? He could be even taller and (hopefully not) a stranger to me when I got back only once in a while. And my mom, I'm like one of her very little friends she can talk to. What will happen when I'm gone?

I'm sure we'll talk to each other on phones and video calls and all that. Just that, it feels terrifying to be living alone so soon. It feels like it will only happen in far future to me when in reality it's only a few weeks left. I kinda resent myself for rushing to college so soon, and go on to an intake where all the brainiacs are going. I'm so stressed out till I bury myself in books and songs and you know, internet. 

I guess I'll have to enjoy this Christmas and have lots of fun with my friends and keep close with my family before doomsday (aka the day I move to the hostel). I just can't picture myself without my mom. I know, I'm such a mom's girl. So what? Sue me.

And a little out of the topic: I'm hoping to do some music soon as a Christmas present for myself, and let's see if I have the guts to put it on YouTube. Ha-ha.

To conclude this, I think it's fair to tell you guys what I really want for Christmas:

Let the time pass as slow as it can be.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Graduation

Me and my four equally crazy friends.

To be completely honest, I can't really remember how the graduation ceremony went, since it's a little over a month by now. Trust me, I totally have tons of reasons (not excuses, mind you) for not writing about it earlier. I was WAY too busy with my life (i.e.piano, college) and was sick later. 

Okay. Partly it's because I'm lazy to edit and upload these photos. These are only the photos of me and my close friends. Other than that, there're like, 300 more photos. And videos. No chance in hell I'm going to share all of those, because of the word "embarrassing". *coughs*

The so-called graduation day was the day before the actual SPM where we sat for a really boring assembly and then hugged the teachers and all and asked for forgiveness, because all we ever do were not listening to our teachers' advice and gave them major headaches. Oops.

All of us got super annoyed when the school said we couldn't bring in all our smartphones to take photos. But who cares? After that day we're not students in that school anymore. So everyone just whipped out their phones and captured away (apart from those who had DSLR cameras which looked super-pro and expensive but who cares? Since it's a tad bit weird to take selfies with those humongous cameras.) Nobody I know cried on that day. I guess it's because we're all hoping that we could finish that damn exam asap and who isn't happy to leave his/her secondary school life behind?

I guess I can be really emotional in this post but I don't feel like it. I'm really glad that I finished my five years in Convent School without any huge dramas and mind-blowing fights. And also the fact that I don't have to wear those hideous uniforms and follow all those school rules ever again in my entire life. I think the only regret I have is that I spent way too much of my time doing nothing. But still, I guess that's what secondary school is about.

I got to know quite a lot of cool people and some incredible teachers along the journey, and it's bittersweet to leave all of those behind. No more pretending to jot down the notes given, lying about homework and assignments, bitching and gossiping all day long and worry about the results after not studying.

Whoa, I'm such a bad student. Gawd.

Anyway, I don't think I can elaborate more on my graduation so here some retarded photos for you guys since they said a picture speaks a thousand words. So basically here's 12000 words or something here. Enjoy.


Failed to be a lady.
It's an effort to squeeze five of us in a selfie. #succeed
The Three Musketeers.

New canteen table (what???)

The examination hall. Okay, I took it without permission. Pre-spm, though.


I'm such a failure. No wonder my hair covered up my face.

I'm not what the card above said.

Zombie. Or not.



MY TRUE COLORS.

This is the before.

And after. Gawd.


Guess I'll see you guys next time. xoxo.