Tarnish

Photo by Aneta Ivanova

In darkness she drowned,

never to be found.

How did it started?

All she could remember

was how her life ended.

It started with curiosity,

she adventured away from her own city.

Climbed over the extreme height of walls,

that separated her and the unknown war.

"Welcome to the new world,

where floors are furnished with diamonds and pearls.

Welcome to your new home,

in here, you shall reborn."

The signboard seemed promising,

and so she went without further thinking.

She was naive, thought that she'd be free,

and the air would be easier to breathe.

Yet

she should think twice

of the price she would pay

of letting herself astray.

Like Alice in Wonderland,

her inquisitive nature ran wild.

Just with a glance,

she was mesmerized with oohs and wows.

Still, she's still too naive,

thought the colors and wonders were salvation,

instead of the real purpose of

disguising the ugly ruination.

People with smiles,

but smiles were weapons

as they're snakes with venom.

She gave out her heart,

hoping to be garnished.

Alas, her genuine soul was grayed

like silver that was tarnished.

Hurt and cheated,

alone and defeated.

Sobbed under furniture,

letting despair swallowed her.

With no one to hold,

she realized she missed home.

But she's deeply rooted,

with filthy thoughts twisting like vines around her trunk.

Their minds grew into hers,

mingled and merged,

they all became one.

It's too late to leave.

Her mind,

from selfless to selfish;

her soul,

from kindness to sadistic.

Memories of her old self,

were far too deep for her to delve.

The girl with a big heart,

had finally lost herself.

How did it started?

The darkness that left her haunted.

All she could remember,

was how her life ended.

Postscript: 

It was basically about how a girl left home in search for her own future in a brand new place, where she experienced horrible people and events disguised with glitter and gold. Her initial passion, hopes and integrity were stained by the raw and despicable side of society and humanity. After her kindness failed, she adapted to the abhorrent way of behaviours and mindset so she could survived in this new reality. However, as she succeeded by adhering to the new rules, she failed at the same time by losing her own self.

I think we can all relate to part of this somehow. After leaving the home, the heaven where our parents protect us from the real ugly truth of the real world/society, we realized how different it was from what we were taught. Even if we despised it, most of us still adhere to it to remain afloat. We all eventually became who we didn't want to be.

And okay, I know this sounds depressing but for a lot of people, this is the cold, hard truth. But yes, there are still hopes and dreams and sunshine and rainbow out there. Just look at the positive side, or stand firm on your morality and hold onto your dignity; we'd all be fine. Please don't be dispirited after this poem; it's just a poem. It's just an expression, which I made out of boredom, okay.

Just breathe, and live.