Well, don't get confused by the tittle, I haven't finish both my Chinese examination and my ATCL Recital, so basically I'm like, two more steps away to freedom. Whatever, screw Chinese since I suck so majorly in it, till I have absolutely no hope in getting an A in it, let alone an A+.
I'm going to have my ATCL Recital next Friday. And yes, I'm really freaking out over it, since I'm not so "mentally" prepared. I guess days pass by really fast till I didn't realize that December is almost here and my SPM is almost over. I was almost hyperventilating when I realized how close it is to my actual piano examinations.
I'm actually starting to fantasize and planning my freedom after both nerve-wrecking examinations I'm facing right now, but the hair part is really making me dizzy. I don't know if I should dye my hair or just keep it original and boring the way it is currently. But I don't want to really freak my parents out though when I told them that I want to dye my hair blue my dad just said go ahead, and my mom didn't even bother to answer me. She just gave me a look and I knew that she thinks that I'm crazy. Right.
Also, there'll be a heck lot of reflections and new resolutions to do since this year is about to end soon. I don't know why I still jot them down every single time in my journal. It's not like I'll be able to finish my resolutions. Or I just start them and left them aside after a while. Which precisely is about three seconds. For instance, my always-fail diet scheme and building up my self-esteem or stop being lazy. Well, all of them failed every single time. Talk about embarrassing.
Other than dyeing my hair (or not), I still have to work over other things. I think that I won't exactly be free after examinations, just that, you know, free of exams. My dad is bugging me about my college application form and all that but I just don't want to deal with all those right now. My head's already crammed with my songs (those I play for my exam) and the emotions I need to project out. I feel like I'd finish a ten km marathon after playing all those songs. It's just so exhausting. I just hope that Chopin won't jump out of his grave and hit me real hard in the face with a shovel because I totally ruin his Ballade. Sorry, genius.
Anyway, I just keep telling myself that it will all be over soon. That's what keeps me holding on for so long, I think. And I basically just pretend that I don't have piano examinations next Friday.
FREEDOM PLEASE BE HERE SOON. I NEED HELP.
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